i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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