no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
