The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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