mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
