My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
