I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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