capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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