you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
