just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
