i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
