i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
