You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
