I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Randomize