Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
