Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
