I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
