Do you still have your period?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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