its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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