apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
