AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
