i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I think your dad took our porno
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
