Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
