I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
