Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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