he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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