This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
