I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
