Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
