so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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