Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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