Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
