Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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