He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
