eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
