I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
