marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize