yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
