So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This is my gift to your gina
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
