She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
