Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Randomize
