i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
why do cheetos always look like penises
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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