Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry NO1 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA

Fav 4 1154 1485
share tweet
(561): View more from Florida

As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother

Fav 21 2493 816
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(401): View more from Rhode Island

Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.

Fav 22 931 5319
share tweet
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water

Fav 2 952 2470
share tweet
(252): View more from North Carolina

We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it

Fav 3 1861 914
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.

Fav 5 3368 1788
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

Figured I'd get right to the point

Fav 8 1129 1810
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.

Fav 0 91 23
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(585): View more from New York

Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled

Fav 0 47 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT