She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
