still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
