Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
