Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
