Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
