just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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