Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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