xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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