I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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