Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
