i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
