Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
