Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
