your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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