I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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