She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize