I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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