I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
