You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
