i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
