I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
