Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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