Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
